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Just want to talk


Hello there. I know, this whole bit is a bit strange. But for once, I just want to shoot from the hip. No free write, no focused topic. Just talk. Admittedly I often feel this way, but keep myself from saying a thing because I don’t have a point of focus. The times I make free writes it usually starts with random thoughts, but I often know where I want to go. Now…it’s kind of like those weird drawings I’ll sometimes do, where I have no idea what I’m making, and the entire point is to trust that something inside me knows what I’m doing. Most of the time it ends up being for little more reason than the joy of being able to do it. 

These days I’m feeling less bound up than I used to, and yet the old habits make it difficult to do this as easily as I’d like. Still, it’s  easier now, and that’s progress I’ll happily take. It’s a weird feeling, knowing that the walls are coming down, I’m more fully inhabiting the life I’ve been given, and the pupating is almost over. I’d always thought I would burst out of my cocoon violently, yet that hasn’t been the case at all. Heh, I shouldn’t be surprised, considering I normally don’t flourish in harsh conditions. I have no idea what form this change is going to take. But for once, I’m more curious than scared. And I am so grateful to feel this way. 

Lovely List

Wonderfuls that get me smiling

A fun new song on the radio while driving in the spring time, windows down, and enjoying warm air after a long cold winter.

Curling up with a good book or a good show and realizing that once you’re done, there’s nothing else you have to do but get in your sleepies and get ready for bed.

Seeing something you’ve been planning for a long time finally falling into place.

Daydreaming about the next big plan and the steps to get there.

Realizing something you thought was terrible…actually didn’t turn out all that bad. Maybe it even makes you proud. Or inexplicably content.

Looking around at what you have and feeling really, deeply thankful.

Laughing as hard at something as you did when you first came across it, even if it was 20+ years ago.

Silly songs.

Sweet kitties (or puppies for me doggy people).

Feeling like you’ve been stranded in a horrible storm of life for months or years, until you’re finally at the place where the phrase, “It will be okay” is finally able to have any meaning for you.

 

What are the things that made you smile today?