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Finally free/Where I’ve been

Hi, all. It feels a bit weird doing this, as I don’t often write about what’s going on with me, and you know my tendency to pop up here and there (peek-a-boo!). But things have changed quite a bit for me in recent months, and I thought I should share.

As I’ve spoken about before, I’ve fought for a long time with both anxiety and depression, and have lost many battles to both. But for the first time in a long time, I believe I have won the war against depression. It’s a big change for me, as I’ve dealt with it to varying degrees for a huge part of my life. Being on this side of it, and being able to honestly say that I’m glad I’m still here…while there’s some caution inside still, I know that it’s true. In this, I’m hoping to find the energy and courage to show up more in my life, and that includes here. For those of you who have stuck around, or just visited once, who said hi, or just looked in, thank you. And to those who are waging their own wars against the thoughts inside- I hope that, by talking about this, somehow you’ll have hope and see that you can come to the other side of it too. That one day you’ll also be free.

So what’s the plan? I’m not entirely sure. After all, there have been too many times where I said I’d show up more and didn’t, and I don’t want to make promises I won’t keep. But not feeling drained by my depression has me hopeful that maybe I can transform this into something good, something better. For now, I think I’d like to talk a bit more about what some of those battles looked like, and how things changed. Some topics may be potentially triggering, so I’m letting you know, and apologize in advance. But it’s my hope that as you read about it, perhaps a breakthrough will begin for you. Thanks again everybody. See you soon!

-carbonkitten

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