My story for the day? I went outside for the first time in a while, since snow and icy cold temperatures don’t get along with my muscles very well. Plus the ups and downs of essentially hiking over mounds of unplowed snow takes a toll after a while. It’s a bit of an adventure, the whole bit. Snowstorms make me feel like this:
(Painted with a toothbrush)
When I make these creations of mine, there often isn’t a whole lot of intent behind them to make them look one way or another. In fact, when this one came about, all I told myself was, “Play”. By keeping that as my only rule, it’s allowed me to make quite a few of these, which I find soothing to make when the anxiety feels like it’s becoming too much.
There are times where I wonder why I couldn’t apply the same metric to writing these posts. Yes, in a sense, the free writes are in a similar mindset, but not quite the same. Usually it’s despair over disliking every idea that comes to mind that makes me free write in the first place. But play? It’s about having faith that each step will be accompanied by another, not judging the result, and allowing oneself to find enjoyment simply in the process of creation.
The other end of it- what often keeps me silent? Thinking that I’m doing this all wrong- that there are so many other ways that I ought to be doing this, and since I haven’t availed myself to those options, I might as well not try at all. But the magical word “play”- it allows me to move forward, because there is no right or wrong, and it’s in that forward motion that I’ll find the cure to every fearful thought that gets in the way and makes it hard to share my thoughts and stories. I’m moving forward. I’m trying. Through playing. Sounds odd, and perhaps a little easy, yet so freeing.