Lovely List

Lovely list: drinks (non-buzzy)

I had the pleasure of going to a novelty store in town the other day, and how happy I was to discover their selection of wonderful drinkables! It was ramune, mostly, but they did have quite the selection of teas, too. And wouldn’t you know it, the prettiest tea set in pale green, complete with cherry blossoms (though we’re coming out of season now). Here, take a look:

teaset
I expect a tiny tea fairy to pop out of the top at any moment.

So pretty! One day I shall find a tea set with the offset handle (like this) that’s to my liking. But until then…

So this got me thinking about some of my favorite things to drink. Not just because of how they taste, but because the whole experience of consuming them. Then I thought, “Why not make a lovely list out of it?” And here we are. My favorite drinkables are:

-Chocolate milk: There is no better way to enjoy this drink than made with ice cold milk (actual ice in your glass is up to you), poured out in a tall glass, and sipped slowly from a purple straw. Trust me. The purple straw is the key to full chocolately bliss. An alternative to the purple straw is to sip it from the spoon used to stir the mixture, like soup. Truly. Just enjoy it slowly.

Rooibos tea: if you’re not a tea type, totally understand. I’d say perhaps it’s a bit of an acquired taste, but there are so many very delicious varieties out there. Strawberry chocolate is among my tops for rooibos. And it helps keep my allergies under control, so I love it for that.There is little that calms me quite like it, except for…

Matcha (powdered Japanese green tea): Ordinarily I like it hot and traditionally prepared, but I had a milk based version of it the other day. The comfort level it induced could only have been increased if I had been wearing my favorite (read: ratty) bathrobe and fuzzy slippers, rocking gently in a hammock on a mild spring afternoon. Oh the cozies…

-Coffee: my husband is coffee making king! Admittedly he makes it a little weaker than I do, but it’s always satisfying. When it’s my turn to make the coffee, something always seems…lacking. *meep* Coffee doesn’t buzz me, it relaxes me. Well, okay, it makes me sleepy, but that’s close to relaxing, right?

-Snapple mango madness: also something that requires a straw for full enjoyment (color is optional). Makes me think of happy things.

-Pineapple juice: happiness in tiny cans. Yeah, I’m kind of a sucker for those little 6 oz cans. Why does pineapple juice come in cans, anyway?

Rose lemonade: I discovered this at one of our local import stores, and sadly they don’t carry it anymore. I do understand how the flowery flavor might put some off, but really, it’s just light and elegant. Not overly sweet, and the lemon and ginger flavors compliment each other wonderfully (and I do not normally like ginger.) Drinking it is somehow reminiscent of sitting on a breezy deck watching the sun set over green hills.

-Vanilla milk: no, I’m not talking about the powdered stuff. I mean a couple of teaspoons of real vanilla extract in a cup of hot milk, along with a dash of sugar. That stuff is almost as bad as lavender in terms of how sleepy it makes me.

-Rose tea: it’s definitely got a much stronger kick of flowers when compared to the lemonade mentioned above, but it has mood stabilizing properties and goes beautifully unsweetened and paired with shortbread cookies!

-Just milk: is there anything like plain, cold (iceless) milk? Whole, of course. I know some folks just can’t stand drinking milk plain, but what else compliments a sweet baked dessert like cow juice? Soda? I think not.

-Water: a thirst quencher like no other. And it’s the only beverage I can drink more than 12 oz of at a time. Just…lovely.

Ahem! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to fish out my tea tins and help myself to a few hot cups. What are some of your favorite drinks! Be sure to let me know in the comments!

Voice chats

Accepting art as I know it

Hi, all,

Yep, it’s been a while since I’ve done one of these. Pardon my volume- making these with a fan in the background and dubstep in my ears is likely not a good idea, and a point for the books. Hope everyone’s having a wonderful Wednesday!

Voice chats

What’s to come

Hey, everyone,

Voice chat on some of the new things to come on adequatelyme.net. And yes, I know, very stuffy! Ugh. It’s the rain, I tell you; my allergies are always exacerbated by rain. *meep* Hope everyone has a wonderful Friday!

Uncategorized

Using the word “disrespect” in close relationships

The words “respect” and “disrespect” have a rather strict connotation for me. To respect someone, in my mind, goes beyond the dictionary’s “holding someone in high esteem or honor”. It also implies a set of behaviors born out of obligation. Think of a child’s first interactions with the word. “Respect your parents. Respect your elders. Stop whistling loudly and playing with your nose; it’s disrespectful”. To act rudely is to act disrespectfully. And to stray into behaviors most comfortable to you is often so as well. “Well, I respect so and so, so I won’t talk about politics around him, or ask her about her dinged up car.” Yet those are the kind of things we can do when we’re around someone we trust, someone we are close with. We may do so gently and slowly at first, but when we get close to someone, we engage in behaviors we wouldn’t otherwise.

And while the phrase “Respect is earned” is so often tossed around, this isn’t usually the case when trying to forge a close relationship. Who starts out a relationship treating a possible mate like garbage, until the day it is decided that the chosen “SO material” is worthy of better treatment? That only happens in cases where there is an initial belief that a given person isn’t worthy of respect. And, let’s be real- that’s usually a person most of us don’t want to date, or even spend time with. Respect is commanded, when, say, a woman won’t put up with unwanted comments about her appearance, or a man won’t tolerate incessant teasing. In those instances, neither is asking for the chance to earn better treatment. The message is, “Give me respect, or I walk.”

But using that word once intimacy is established trips me up. If, say, my husband decided to have a laugh at my expense in front of others, and I were to talk with him about it afterwards, I wouldn’t tell him he “disrespected” me, even if it is the case. I’d tell him I didn’t like it, that it bothered me, but to use “disrespect” on him changes the state of the offense. It implies a distance, a lack of trust and acceptance that our relationship isn’t based on. Frankly, for me to say, “I respect (someone)” is to say I don’t have a close relationship with them.

Yet I know of and have observed several instances where girlfriends/boyfriends and husbands/wives use it to talk about the transgressions of their significant other. “It’s so disrespectful when he goes out every week without telling me.” “She is so disrespectful of my space and my interests.” From where I’m standing, it doesn’t imply equal footing. To use the same term on a loved one as you would with someone who is, on some level, “better” than you (your boss, elders, someone powerful, etc), someone who forces your best behavior out of you- it’s confusing. It’s not the idea of respect that bothers me. It’s the use of the term, a term so often used to imply the relationship between a superior and a subordinate. Respect is consideration without love.

 

I’d love feedback on this one! Leave your thoughts in the comments!

Uncategorized

Pain makes me a better person

Have you ever struggled with belief: belief that life truly is good, that good things are in store for you, and that one day you’ll see the work you put towards the things you want pay off?

Truly, I never struggled much with most of these thoughts. At times I’d think the things I wanted in life might be compromised by one life event or another, but deep down I knew, if I pressed and pushed and kept going, I’d see the flash of light as reality dawned on my dreams.

But there’s one belief that’s lurked in the background, with regards to what I’ve wanted most in life. The belief that somehow, it was written in my destiny not to have it, and my life would be defined by my longing for it, and the subsequent suffering my longing would cause.

Eventually I had to ask. Why is it that I can see myself easily with anything I’ve ever wanted in life, but not this, my deepest desire? And I realized- it’s because I don’t believe I should have it. More specifically, I believe the pain of not having it is better suited to me than the joy of having it.

Why?

Life started in a strange place for me. Early on I learned from my parents that I couldn’t rely on lasting impressions of good times. Things had to eventually turn bad. Pain and sorrow had to come. Eventually I believed it was what my parents wanted for me. And so I internalized the belief that pain makes me a better person. Life is stable, and things are the way they ought to be, when my soul is filled with it.

Now, this is something most people are surprised to learn about me, as I was to learn about myself. Generally speaking I have an upbeat attitude and tend towards optimism. So when I tried to rationalize the two, I then realized why, contrary to expectations for people like me, I didn’t repeat patterns of pain when it came to my relationships and my marriage.

Because that kind of suffering wouldn’t be enough. Even though time did finally show me I expected pain from my husband too.

What kind of pain would be worse than the pain of a lifetime longing unfulfilled?

Truly, when I finally had to come to grips with the truth of the beliefs I had internalized about myself over the years, and forced myself to admit them out loud to my husband, a sick pleasure came over me, as my subconscious mind said, “That’s the pathetic creature you are. The way you’re supposed to be.”

 

Not anymore.

I’ve seen what can happen when I let that go, and follow the things I want. When I help others, and don’t worry about not being enough. I’ve seen the good and the bad I can do, and believing things like this only holds me back. No one benefits from my suffering. But everyone can benefit from my blessing, if I allow myself to realize how blessed I am. I am sitting down with my book of life’s rules in my lap, and it is time to undo all the lessons scrawled in there meant to keep me bound and predictable. And the first new lesson that must be entered is:

I am blessed.

Voice chats

Late payment *wink*

Hi, everyone,

It’s been a while since my last voice memos, partially because of my wisdom teeth and being busy, but mostly because it still makes me nervous! Time to shake it off and go!

Anyway, these are a little short, but they were sort of fun to do. You’ll hear vocal changes in the third song- I can’t help it; that’s how the character sings it, and I can’t help but follow suit! Might do more like this, though it’s more likely to be original compositions in the future. Let me know if you have any requests!

 

Songs: “Serenata” -Luis Laguna

 “Bokutachi Wa Kore Kara” – Ranma 1/2/DoCo

“Akane No Komoriuta”- Ranma 1/2/Noriko Hidaka